My regularly scheduled Four for Friday posts will resume next week; in the meantime, here’s something that I’ve been thinking about regarding the stickiness of what I like to call “throwaway” mediums.

Anyone who’s ever placed an order for anything even slightly more complex than a plain cup of coffee at Starbucks knows what an ordeal it can be to spit out a mouthful of incongruous words, especially if the person at the register doesn’t hear what you say. Woe unto the person whose regular order is a grande extra-hot half-caf nonfat sugar-free hazelnut latte. That’s a lot of words to get wrong, especially with one person repeating it to another, so it serves as nothing but a barrier to prevent someone from ordering a healthy beverage that isn’t laden with sugar and fat.

Starbucks has done something brilliant to remedy this problem by labeling sugar-free, nonfat beverages as “skinny.” This is a great idea, but the ways in which they are raising awareness of it are less than successful. The first–and arguably most awkward–means by which Starbucks baristas are letting people know about the new skinny option is to repeat the order when it’s up and then tack on “new name, skinny such-and-such.” This is less than graceful. Before, a barista had to say…

Grande nonfat sugar-free mocha!

That phrase alone is nine syllables, but now the barista must literally announce that this concoction has a new name:

Grande nonfat sugar-free mocha–new name, grande skinny mocha!

Less than graceful, I’d say, especially now that the barista has to take another breath to spit out another eight syllables while simultaneously trying to finish whatever drinks are coming up next.

I actually attempted to order one of these new skinny drinks when I saw it on a new sign posted on the wall; unfortunately, when I ordered, the cashier looked completely baffled as to what I was asking for. I had to actually point to the sign and ask, “You are offering that as a drink you can order here, right?”

Once the confusion had been cleared and I had been given my receipt, I happened to glance at it while I waited for the drink to be made:

While it’s perfectly lovely that Starbucks is promoting the “skinny” option and extolling the health benefits of ordering your next latte in such a fashion, this is not a medium that has any stickiness at all. Most people don’t even ask for receipts at Starbucks (I only did just so I could learn that my gift card only held $1.22 in remaining credit), and many times receipts aren’t even offered unless you pay with a credit or debit card.

So why rely this heavily on a throwaway medium of little communicative value? People use receipts for one reason and one reason only–to determine what they spent their money on. I’m curious as to whether or not any studies have been done to measure the effectiveness of marketing messages printed on receipts, because I feel that they’re dubious at best and ineffective at worst.

So there you have it. Yes, you can order a skinny latte (or mocha) at Starbucks–just hope that the barista knows what you’re talking about.